he makes it so hard 4 me to b mad at him....hell kiss me or say something he knows i will like and then i forget im mad....now i bring to his attetion im upset and y im upset...what does he do? he responds by posting something about me and saying something sweeet....is it appreciated? hell yea..but thats not what im looking for...then it goes to he accepts the relatiopnship status thing but then HIDES IT!!!!!!!!!! that defeats the whole purpose!!! i just told him that anything having to do with me on his page he deletes or hides!!just like he did stephs comment about me, just like the one post he did tag me in he deleted, just like majority of the statues steph has posted on his page n they have something to do with me he deltes.. im mad because sum trick is on there and hes broadcasting her to the world and not me
i mean am i ugly? is he ashamed of me?? does he not want ppl to know?? or is it the fact that he doesnt want females to know?? im so confused!!! i know he loves me i know he cares, i know he sees this as an unimportant issue but to me its not!! i feel like the ugly duckling or cinderella or something...the other ducks or the sisters get the attetion and i dont, i must be hid away 4rm the world in the basement ya kno....
i dont think he understands that this cuts me...but what can i do?? do i continue to play "hidden secert" role, do i try n demand to be seen? idk only time will tell..i just know that i honestly wish i could just do it myself, then i would b happy....like really though?? how does it feel to him if i have sum nigga on my page and im claiming him but im not claiming the dude i love?? a little funny huh??
UGHHHHHHH hopefully i can go to sleep and feel better in the morning, even if i do, it will still come back to me in the morning when i see my page w/o him on it or see his page w/o me on it but sum trick on it....can we say feelings hurt? can we say tears?? i havent cried in such a long time!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
janurary 11, 2011
Where to start? I guess ill have to start from yesterday..
this girl who he is "bestfriends" with but lost contact with, he got back in contact with which is all fine and dandy...but he then goes on to add her on his page and label her as his bestfriend, now this wouldnt be a big deal but considering the fact the last time i sent him a relationship thing, he accepted but hid it so no1 could see it, but then just puts this out in the open like that pisses me off
working on not holding things in and approaching him with this type of stuff in a calm manner, which is what i i did, he goes on to say that he sent me a request, ok cool, atleast thats what im thinking and im no longer upset, but then when i go to accept low and behold ITS NOT THERE! so now im pretty much livid at this point, it was one thing to put some trick on your page before me, but its another thing for you to tell me something and lie to me about it! i mean did he really think that that i wasnt going to check and see if it was there??
then i thought okay let me be rashional, maybe he did send it and something just went wrong...so i sent him one instead, did he accept it? NOPE! then i was like well maybe hes not on BUT hes talking to other people so yes he is on! now when i confrnted him about not sending it all he did was change the subject! that means u knew u were lying!!!!!!
why is it so hard to put it out there?? but u real quick to put sumbody else up there??? he knows i take pride in my facebook cause i like to think it shows ppl my family friends wat im all about...now how does that look u got sum girl as ur bf up there but not me?? to me that is equivalent to me n him n a friend of mine walking into a party and i see ppl i know and i introduce them to the friend i brought with me and not him and just leave him in the cold...but i dont think he sees it like that at all
writing is making me feel better and im not going to throw a fit about it, cause weve been good for a few months now, and im not going to mess that up, but everytime i see his page im going to HER and not me and get mad all over again!! something i gotta deal with the fact hed rather advertise other people and not me? i wonder if that means he just is like...idk whatever ill be fine
missed work today AGAIN i love that job and i think im on the verge of getting fired! then i walk to my other job i dont like so much and turns out i dont have to be there!!!! so my hands freezing, me twisting my ankle and getting approaced by lames was a waste of time!! and it could have been avoided if they just would have called!!!!!!
i guess thats all for today = )
this girl who he is "bestfriends" with but lost contact with, he got back in contact with which is all fine and dandy...but he then goes on to add her on his page and label her as his bestfriend, now this wouldnt be a big deal but considering the fact the last time i sent him a relationship thing, he accepted but hid it so no1 could see it, but then just puts this out in the open like that pisses me off
working on not holding things in and approaching him with this type of stuff in a calm manner, which is what i i did, he goes on to say that he sent me a request, ok cool, atleast thats what im thinking and im no longer upset, but then when i go to accept low and behold ITS NOT THERE! so now im pretty much livid at this point, it was one thing to put some trick on your page before me, but its another thing for you to tell me something and lie to me about it! i mean did he really think that that i wasnt going to check and see if it was there??
then i thought okay let me be rashional, maybe he did send it and something just went wrong...so i sent him one instead, did he accept it? NOPE! then i was like well maybe hes not on BUT hes talking to other people so yes he is on! now when i confrnted him about not sending it all he did was change the subject! that means u knew u were lying!!!!!!
why is it so hard to put it out there?? but u real quick to put sumbody else up there??? he knows i take pride in my facebook cause i like to think it shows ppl my family friends wat im all about...now how does that look u got sum girl as ur bf up there but not me?? to me that is equivalent to me n him n a friend of mine walking into a party and i see ppl i know and i introduce them to the friend i brought with me and not him and just leave him in the cold...but i dont think he sees it like that at all
writing is making me feel better and im not going to throw a fit about it, cause weve been good for a few months now, and im not going to mess that up, but everytime i see his page im going to HER and not me and get mad all over again!! something i gotta deal with the fact hed rather advertise other people and not me? i wonder if that means he just is like...idk whatever ill be fine
missed work today AGAIN i love that job and i think im on the verge of getting fired! then i walk to my other job i dont like so much and turns out i dont have to be there!!!! so my hands freezing, me twisting my ankle and getting approaced by lames was a waste of time!! and it could have been avoided if they just would have called!!!!!!
i guess thats all for today = )
Friday, January 7, 2011
Jan 7, 2011
New to this whole thing but decided to do it because I just want to tell my story I guess, have something that I can tell how I really feel.
Today im sick as i dont know what!! I hate being sick, but it isnt all that bad because i have this amazing boyfriend who does everything he can to make me happy or make me feel better. Ive never been in this place with a man before. Ive had countless boyfriends who were all good in the begining and then did a turn for the worst he showed me diffrent.
Funny that we are in such a good place right now! Looking back a year ago I never would have seen this in our future, I probaly wouldnt even think we would be together. Weve gone through, cheating(my part) because i didnt think he was serious and to keep mysel from getting hurt i figured i would do it before he did WRONG! Weve been through losses! hardest thing in the world! never thought i would get over that or be able to bounce back...i think for a while i blamed him....since i blamed him we argued about anything and everything just cause!!
weve came so far! now its to the point that were talking about marraige and having a baby = )
im looking foward to...this boy is my one and only! im in this for life = )
Today im sick as i dont know what!! I hate being sick, but it isnt all that bad because i have this amazing boyfriend who does everything he can to make me happy or make me feel better. Ive never been in this place with a man before. Ive had countless boyfriends who were all good in the begining and then did a turn for the worst he showed me diffrent.
Funny that we are in such a good place right now! Looking back a year ago I never would have seen this in our future, I probaly wouldnt even think we would be together. Weve gone through, cheating(my part) because i didnt think he was serious and to keep mysel from getting hurt i figured i would do it before he did WRONG! Weve been through losses! hardest thing in the world! never thought i would get over that or be able to bounce back...i think for a while i blamed him....since i blamed him we argued about anything and everything just cause!!
weve came so far! now its to the point that were talking about marraige and having a baby = )
im looking foward to...this boy is my one and only! im in this for life = )
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